


Sparks

by DragonSgotenks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Sex, Discussion of Abortion, Dubious Consent, Happy Ending, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), POV Alternating, Pining, Post Mpreg, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Strangers to Lovers, True Mates, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:14:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSgotenks/pseuds/DragonSgotenks
Summary: Omega Cas meets Alpha Dean during one of the worst weeks of his life. Sparks fly when they realize they're truemates. But after a wild and intense night that ends with both of them sporting new mating bites, could a simple misunderstanding tear the new couple apart before they even have a chance to begin?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 71
Kudos: 412
Collections: Bottom Cas Big Bang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my entry for the 2019 Bottom Cas Big Bang! I've been waiting to share this with y'all since November so I am stoked!
> 
> The art is by the amazingly talented VampyRosa and I just adore it! Be sure to check out the link to her art master post here: [Art](https://vampyrosa.tumblr.com/post/615703648559857664/artwork-for-sparks-author-dragonsgotenks-colab-for)
> 
> Also a huge shout out to Beatrix_Kiddo as always for being such a wonderful beta!
> 
> So this sucker gets a little angsty but absolutely has a happy ending. 
> 
> ⚠️note on the dubious consent tag⚠️  
> I tagged this for 2 reasons. One because of heat sex and two because of a sex dream that turns into a nightmare with clear consent issues. It's brief and if you need to skip it feel free to dm and I will outline where it's at.
> 
> Other than that please enjoy!

* * *

Castiel lets out a deep sigh as he sinks onto the nearest barstool. His whole body slumps as the weight of the shittiest week of his life presses down on his shoulders. Not only did he find out his ex (the person he thought he was going to spend his life with up until 6 months ago when he was unceremoniously dumped through a text message) mated the barely legal piece of ass he left Cas for, but to add insult to injury, the couple already had a pup on the way, twins, if the rumors are to be believed. 

Then he'd gotten notice that his apartment building had an infestation of bed bugs and he couldn't get back in for over a week while they fumigated (forcing him to crash on his overbearing mother's couch with his heat less than a week away). And to top off the whole burning shit pile that is his life, he's been "let go" from his job of 3 years.

He didn't even like that stupid boring soul-sucking job, but it'd been a steady paycheck, and a paycheck meant independence for an unmated Omega. The one silver lining to his woefully single life was that said lack of mate and pups meant he put most of his earnings into a savings account. Cas figures he can comfortably spend about three months looking for a new job before he needs to start panicking.

For now, he planned to get black-out drunk and pretend he's not in his early thirties and barrelling head first into an early midlife crisis.

He's still nursing his first beer and debating if he's ready for something stronger when a man plops down on the stool next to him and leans forward to catch his eyes.

Cas is full on prepared to crush this poor guy’s spirit  _ and _ will to live under his reasonably priced sensible shoes, but as soon as his eyes lock onto the startlingly green ones looking at him with concern, he freezes in place and sucks in a desperate breath.

Several things happen all at once: first, Cas is certain that he has never seen such a goddamn beautiful man before; second, he becomes acutely aware of how rumpled and frumpy he looks right now in his wrinkled suit and trench coat; and last but not least, the most amazing scent smacks him in the face, instantly triggering slick to start filling his hole until it trickles out to wet his boxers.

"Hey sweetheart, you're looking kind of down. Can I buy ya a drink?"

Cas wants to say something witty, but all that comes out is a weird "hhng" noise that has heat blooming across his face.

The man, no the  _ Alpha _ , chuckles and flashes him a charming smile. Cas finds himself mesmerized by the crinkles that appear next to the Alpha's eyes. He wants to bury his face in this Alpha's neck until he's bathing in his scent. He smells like warm fresh baked bread, a library on a sunny day, and like pie, fresh from the oven just like his Grandma used to make. He smells like fucking  _ home _ and Cas isn't sure if he wants to laugh, cry, or hop on his dick and ride it into the sunset.

"I'm Dean, Dean Winchester and you are?"

The Alpha,  _ Dean, _ holds his hand out to shake and Cas tilts his head to the side as he stares at it. It's pretty clear to him what's happening here, but why doesn't Dean seem to be affected at all? It's then that Cas remembers the industrial strength scent blockers he's wearing. They had been a requirement for all Omegas working at Roman Enterprises, much to Castiel's frustration, as they didn't come cheap and the company refused to reimburse their Omega employees.

He slowly reaches forward to grasp the Alpha's hand in his own slightly sweaty one. He leans forward so he's right in Dean's personal space.

"My name is Castiel Novak, and you should scent me."

Dean blinks at him owlishly for a second, his eyebrows practically leaping off his forehead before his mouth slides into a wicked smirk.

"Maybe I should get you that drink first?"

Cas ducks his head to hide his flushed face. He's always been rather blunt and to the point, often earning himself a bad reputation from Alphas who thought it an unbecoming quality in an Omega. His ex had certainly always hated it.

A warm hand reaches out to squeeze his thigh in a comforting gesture, and he lifts his eyes to see laughter dancing behind Dean's own bright orbs.

His belly twists in a mighty cramp as he's hit with lust so strong he doesn't know how it doesn't send him flying across the room.

He wants to lick every inch of this man's body from head to toe. He wants to know how he'll taste from every angle, wants to know what will make him gasp and lose control, wants to know what it will take to feel his knot fat and heavy in the palm of his hand or nestled in his ass as he milks it for every drop of Alpha come.

"Dean," it comes out as a low moan, and the Alpha once again looks surprised as Castiel reaches forward for a fist full of his shirt. He gives a sharp tug to bring them chest to chest.

"I don't have time for this, Alpha. I'm fairly certain you're my truemate, and I'm about 30 seconds away from presenting my ass to you right here in the bar in a mating heat, so just fucking scent me already."

His chest is heaving by the time he's done speaking, but Dean's eyes are dilated and obviously interested as he  _ finally _ leans in to run his nose along Cas' neck. He tilts his head to the side to give more access for his Alpha to breathe in his scent.

By this time of day and with the amount of pheromones pumping out of him since the Alpha sat down next to him, Dean should be able to catch his scent if he goes right to the source.

He shivers as Dean's hot breath tickles his sensitive skin. A low moan from his Alpha has Cas' dick filling out fast, and his ass getting slicker by the second.

When the Alpha lifts his head his eyes are dark with desire, and he's growling low in the back of his throat possessively. He leans in again and starts mouthing along Cas' jawline.

"Mate...my mate."

Cas groans and wraps his arms around Dean's neck to bring them closer together. His body is on fire, and it's not hard to figure out that Dean is his truemate, the result of which has thrown him into a mating heat. Mating heats were intense and could be dangerous but they were usually short, with the fever tapering off after the claim is made. He probably doesn't have much longer before he completely loses his mind with the need to mate.

He grabs Dean's face and forces his head up so he can look into his beautiful eyes.

"Dean, Alpha, listen to me carefully." His Alpha perks up to attention, his face schooling into a look of intense focus.

"I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to string more than two words together, but I need you to know that I accept you as my truemate. You have my complete and total consent to take me in my heat. I'm yours, Alpha. I want you to claim me as such."

Dean moans as he nods his head while swooping in to capture Cas' mouth. It briefly occurs to Cas that they are still in the bar, still out in a public place and, for a moment, he wonders if he's going to be one of those stories from the news of truemates mating in public and ending up having to pay huge fines for public indecency.

"Alpha...Alpha...take me home."

He can barely get the words out with the way Dean is attacking his mouth with teeth and tongue, but he does and they seem to reach the part of the Alpha's brain that's still rational, because he stands up and grips the back of Cas' thick thighs until he's being lifted up into strong arms. Cas wraps his legs around Dean's waist before burying his face into the space where Dean's neck and shoulder meet, sucking a dark mark over his Alpha's mating gland.

Slick is pouring out of him and his hole clenches repeatedly with the need to be filled. He gasps when moments later his back is slammed into cold metal. He realizes Dean must have carried him to his car, as the distracted Alpha fumbles his keys out of his pocket and tries to open the door without relinquishing his hold on Cas.

Castiel wiggles until Dean is forced to set him down or drop him, and he gets a low growl from him for his efforts.

"Stop that, Alpha. I'd rather be set down and get in the car faster than wait any longer for your knot."

Dean finally jams his key into the lock and a sound of triumph erupts from his chest as he yanks the door open and shoves Cas in unceremoniously, causing the Omega to land on his belly in the backseat. He doesn't waste any time lifting to his knees with his face buried in soft leather, presenting himself to his soon-to-be mate.

Dean's weight settles behind him, and the cool air against his flushed skin makes him gasp as Dean rips his pants and underwear down his hips. He's exposed now to his Alpha's hungry eyes, and the sudden spike in Dean's scent causes him to whimper.

"Alpha, need you please…"

He lets out a wail as his cheeks are parted and a searing hot tongue slides against his slick opening. Dean moans loud and low before sealing his lips around Cas' rim and sucking his slick straight from the source.

Cas thinks it's wholly possible he's on the verge of a brain aneurysm from the way his vision whites out with pleasure. Dean's wicked tongue spears him with short jabs and lazy licks as he mutters about how good Cas tastes, his hot breath hitting the cooling saliva on his skin and making Cas shiver.

Dean's eating his ass like he's on death row and Cas is his last meal. It's sloppy and hot as fuck but nowhere near what Cas' body is craving.

"Dean. Alpha please...fuck...please need you to fuck me. Want your knot."

He was going out of his mind with his need to be claimed. He rips off his coat and shirt to try and tame some of the heat coursing through his body, but it's no use -- nothing short of his Alpha's knot locked in his ass and his teeth buried in Cas' flesh would satisfy him. But his Alpha has other plans, and instead of jamming his fat cock into Cas' ass, he pulls back to trace thick fingers through his slick. Teasing his entrance with a single digit softly running up and down the crease of his ass, Dean circles his fluttering rim before sinking in to the first knuckle.

Cas' back aches down beautifully as he tries to push back on his Alpha's hand wanting more. Dean groans and pulls out his finger just to come back with two. He plunges them deep into Cas, scissoring and spreading this way and that to make room for his big Alpha cock. He tugs at Cas’ rim with each pass of his thick fingers, leaving Cas a wiggling wailing mess beneath him.

"Come  _ on  _ Alpha!"

He was losing his mind to the haze of heat and lust, and all he wanted was to be filled with his Alpha. Filled with his cock and his seed and his teeth.

A sharp slap to his ass clears the haze for a second, and Cas pops his head up to glare at the man behind him.

"Did you just fucking  _ spank _ me?"

Dean's eyes are huge as he sits frozen behind him.

"Um...maybe?"

Cas narrows his eyes even as his hips sway of their own accord, trying to entice his Alpha into action.

"You may be my Alpha, but no one spanks me like a child. Now stop teasing me and fuck me, Dean."

Dean nods quickly and in a move too fast for him to really follow, Cas is flipped onto his back, his sweaty skin sticking to the leather of the seat under him. Dean pulls his pants the rest of the way off before losing his own shirt quickly. His Alpha pushes his pants down just enough to free his cock and settles firmly between his legs. For such a big Alpha with delightfully broad shoulders, his hips are surprisingly slim but it allows him to fit perfectly between Cas' open legs 

"Gonna claim you Cas, make you mine, breed you up till your full of my pups."

Cas shivers at the possessive edge to Dean's voice. 

"Yes Alpha, yes, make me yours."

Even in the throws of his heat, though, Dean's words wriggle into his brain. The hot blunt head of Dean’s cock rubs his entrance as the Alpha takes himself in hand and lines up to finally sink in. 

Again, Dean's words circle around his head and suddenly he's pushing at Dean's chest.

"Wait! Wait Alpha stop."

Dean freezes immediately and starts to retreat, a hurt look on his face, and Cas swears under his breath.

"No Dean, wait. I still want this. I just...um...do you have a condom?"

Dean swoops down to kiss him fiercely, and Cas can feel the way his shoulders relax and smells the way his scent loses the faint tang of rejection, swelling once again with the bright notes of his Alpha's lust.

"Yeah sweetheart, I've got you."

Dean pulls away to lean over the front seat. The sound of his Alpha rummaging through what must be the glove box fills the car before Dean lets out a triumphant cheer and settles back between Cas' legs with two foil packets held proudly in his hands.

Cas bites his lip to keep from laughing at Dean's smug face. His Alpha is so cute as he preens over the fact he could provide what his Omega had asked for.

"These should be enough to tide us over til we can get to my place."

Cas locks eyes with Dean and holds his hand up, cricking one finger to beckon his Alpha closer until he can lean up to whisper in his ear.

"Well then, what are you waiting for, Alpha?"

Dean shudders when Cas traces his tongue along the Alpha's sensitive ear.

"I've only got one k-condom the other is just a regular Alpha rubber."

Cas bites his lip again. Only k-condoms where designed for knotting. They were made to hold the copious amounts of come an Alpha produced while knotted, and a regular Alpha condom wouldn't stand a chance against what they were about to do.

"Well you better make this one count Alpha, so we can make it back to your place."

Dean straightens quickly, ripping the condom open with his teeth and rolling it on his dick with ease. Cas cups his Alpha's face between his hands and brings him down for a tender kiss as Dean lines up and finally pushes inside in one slow smooth slide.

Cas claws at Dean's back as he's stretched unbelievably wide around his Alpha's cock. He cries out and tries to relax his body to let Dean in inch by slow inch. It's breathtaking to know his Alpha is taking him, is going to fuck him, and claim him. 

"Alpha...so good Dean, so full...ugh."

Finally after what feels like an eternity Dean bottoms out, pausing to let Cas adjust to the stretch. He peppers Cas' face with little kisses and runs his fingers through his thick dark hair. He rubs his nose along Cas' scent gland and sucks a mark there as Cas writhes on his cock. 

"Oh God, please Alpha...Dean...fucking move already goddamn it!"

Dean lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls back until just the tip of his cock rests inside of Cas then he slams home.

Cas lets out a grunt and braces his hands against the door above his head. 

"Fuck yes, Alpha"

Dean lets out a growl as he grips Cas' hips hard enough to bruise and starts fucking him with earnest. 

The whole car is rocking, and anyone that passes by will be getting more than an eyefull, but Cas doesn't give a single fuck. All that matters is the feeling of being fucked open on his mate’s cock. The heat of his body is rising steadily as their mating frenzy kicks into gear, and he tries to concentrate on Dean's face. He wraps his legs around the Alpha's slim hips and tangles his hands in his short hair, wrenching Dean down until his face is buried in his neck.

"Bite me Alpha, bite me, make me yours."

Dean moans into Cas' neck as he continues to suck bruises in a chain along his skin as his hips piston into Cas' slick hole. He's so wet, there's practically a puddle under them from his slick. Dean shifts and suddenly he's nailing Cas' prostate with every powerful thrust of his cock.

The Omega whimpers as Dean fucks him, his own orgasm barreling towards the finish line faster than he ever thought possible. His cock is a dribbling mess where it's trapped between their stomachs, Dean brushing against it just enough to send sharp spikes of pleasure shooting through his belly as the Alpha moves above him.

Dean's knot starts to form and catch on Cas' oversensitive rim with each thrust of his hips. The Alpha does little more than grunt as he concentrates on scrapping his mating incisors against Cas' scent gland. The Omega locks up at the feel of Dean’s teeth on his neck. His orgasm is ripped from him with a force he's never experienced before, and he cries out as rope after rope of thin Omega come splashes between them.

Dean lets out a mighty growl as his jaw clamps down and locks into place at the same moment his knot forces its way inside and ties them together as he fills the condom with his first wave of release.

He keeps rocking his hips into Cas' body until he's finally spent. Gingerly, he unlocks his jaw and withdraws his teeth, wincing slightly at Cas' hiss of pain.

"Your turn." 

Dean's voice is gentle as he tilts his head up, giving Cas full access to his neck. It only takes one mating bite to make their coupling official, but Cas felt warm and happy that Dean wanted to wear his bite as well. 

He runs his nose along Dean's scent gland, once again breathing in the alluring smell of home, only now it's mixed with a small amount of his own dark forest scent. When he feels the next wave of Dean's release fill the condom, he sinks his teeth deep into his mate’s neck, causing Dean to cry out as pleasure shoots through him once again.

Cas traces the beautiful face looking down at him. His mate, his beautiful Alpha, looks exhausted, and Cas isn't too far behind. He figures it wouldn't hurt to wait out Dean's knot with a little nap. It's not like they can drive to Dean's home until they untie anyway.

He brushes his thumb tenderly under one sleepy green eye. 

"Rest, Alpha. When your knot goes down, you can take me home."

Dean kisses him softly before attempting to arrange them both comfortably in the too-small backseat of his car. It's only moments before they both fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

……………..

Castiel groans as he slowly wakes. The sun sits low in the sky, so it must be early morning still, and his body feels like he's been hit by a truck.

What the hell happened last night?

He looks down at his naked body and sees an arm that doesn't belong to him slung around his waist, and finally his brain registers the warm body pressed along his back.

_ Dean _ .

The previous night slams back to the front of his mind as Cas remembers everything.

He found his truemate! The beautiful Alpha pressed into his back was his mate!

Cas looks around a bit confused when he realizes they're still in the backseat of Dean's car. Slowly, the rest of the night comes back to him as he catches sight of the condoms strewn along the floor of the car. He remembers now waking up after Dean's knot finally slipped free but his mating heat had returned tenfold. He had begged Dean to fuck him until his Alpha had agreed to let Cas ride him to help get through the wave of heat, but he refused to knot him until they could get more k-condoms, since Cas had asked for them before succumbing completely to his heat.

It had been maddening having his Alpha's knot pressed against his slick fluttering hole while being denied a full tie. But Dean had held firm in his resolve to honor Cas' request. Cas fucked himself out of 2 more orgasms on Dean's dick before he finally couldn't do it anymore, his thighs shaking from the strain and his hole sensitive and tender. 

But still his heat had persisted. He'd felt himself getting dizzy, his words slurring, and his vision going hazy as the heat addled his brain. He can vaguely remember Dean calling his name, his voice filled with fear, but Cas couldn't make his mouth form words to answer his Alpha. He was too damn hot. 

He remembers Dean laying him out on the seat again, the cool leather making his overheated body shiver and then the feeling of once again being filled by his Alpha, only this time was different. Dean's cock felt like a brand inside him as he slowly rocked into him. Gentle hands caressed his face, he could hear quiet words being spoken into his ear but his brain couldn't make them out. He clung weakly to his mate trying to reassure him. He couldn't understand his words, but he could smell the fear and sorrow in his scent. This time when Dean's knot locked inside of him, he felt the molten liquid of his Alpha's come painting his insides, filling his body with potent Alpha seed. He moaned weakly but held Dean close until his body couldn't take the heat anymore and he passed out.

Now that his mind is clear again, he reaches down between his legs and, sure enough, he feels the thick wetness of cum still inside him. Castiel takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. The condoms had been important to him. Mating heats were notoriously fertile with something like a 78% pregnancy rate for couples who didn't use some kind of birth control and even a 35% rate for those that  _ did _ use birth control. 

He had wanted to have some time to get to know his Alpha before talking about pups. He takes another deep breath and once again lets it out slowly, letting go of any regrets or resentments before they can form. It wasn't Dean's fault that his body went crazy. It happens sometimes to Omegas past their breeding prime. While Castiel wasn't an old hag by any means, he was still considered old for having pups. Even with a totally normal pregnancy, he would be considered at risk just from being in his thirties. 

Sometimes, when older Omegas finally meet their truemate, their bodies will go into overdrive. Their biological imperatives kick in, and some have been known to die from the resulting fever. Castiel is glad his Alpha was able to recognize it for what it was and take action before he had needed to be hospitalized.

Only his Alpha's seed would have been able to bring his fever down, and Dean had done the only thing he could to save his mate in the moment.

No, Castiel wasn't mad, and if a pup does come from their mating, well, he can't say he would be unhappy about it in the grand scheme of things. He wasn't against the idea of pups — just the timing.

He groans and pulls himself up to a sitting position. His ass is screaming, and he feels tacky and gross. He could see his own car a few spaces down the parking lot and decides he doesn't want to wait for Dean to wake before cleaning himself up a bit. He has a duffle bag of clothes and all his toiletries packed in his trunk, as his original plan had been to head to his mother's after the bar. 

With careful movements, he shrugs on his trench coat and nothing else, chuckling to himself a bit at how he's sporting the classic streaker look. He can use the long coat as a privacy curtain of sorts as he cleans up and gets dressed. Not that there are many people out at this early hour to see him. 

He looks at his sleeping Alpha's face and runs his fingers through Dean's short hair fondly. He presses a chaste kiss to the sleeping man's forehead before climbing out of the backseat to stretch his achy limbs.

Slowly, he ambles over to his car, the brown Lincoln continental sitting as if in judgment as he does the walk of shame to her trunk.

_ Whatever _ , thought Castiel,  _ it wasn't a walk of shame if he wasn't ashamed of what he'd done. _

Sure, his mating night was in the back of a car, but that didn't matter to him. What mattered was that he had found his truemate. 

Cas is eternally grateful that he'd packed his full heat kit because it means he has body wipes that are perfect for cleaning the dried slick and come from his body. They were made for bed baths when you're laid up in the hospital, but Cas had found them on Amazon a few years back and always made sure to have some on hand for his heats. They helped when he was too strung out to handle the feeling of the shower spray on his sensitive skin at the height of his cycle.

After a quick wipe down, he shimmies into some sweat pants and throws on a plain white t-shirt. It's just cool enough that he pulls out a soft cardigan to keep him warm as well before throwing his dirty coat into the trunk and slamming it closed. He already pocketed his wallet and keys and is feeling a 100 times better as he starts to make his way back to Dean's car.

As he crosses the parking lot, the flashing sign for a coffee house across the street catches his eye. He didn't see any movement from Dean, and the thought of surprising his mate with coffee and maybe some breakfast was too tempting to pass up. With one last look at the shiny black car that houses his mate, Cas jogs across the empty street, inhaling the rich smell of coffee with a watering mouth.

A bell jingles as he makes his way inside, and he's pleased to see a large glass display case filled with fresh breakfast pastries.

A young barista comes from the back of the house with a warm smile.

"Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?"

Suddenly Cas realizes he has no idea what Dean would actually  _ like _ — he doesn't even know how he takes his coffee.

Well, he'd just do his best. It was the thought that counted, anyway.

"Good morning to you as well. I'll take two black coffees and I'd like to get a few pastries as well. Do you recommend anything?"

The women nodded enthusiastically as Cas spoke, eager to be of help.

"Oh, definitely go with the orange almond sticky buns. They are amazing and always sell out fast."

Castiel returns her smile with one of his own.

"Those sound lovely. I'll take two."

It isn't long before Cas has his two coffees and pastries in hand. The woman, whose name is Becky according to her name tag, is more than happy to pass over a hand full of creamers and sugar packets when he explains his situation, her eyes going a bit dreamy and wistful.

He thanks her kindly and leaves with a spring in his step. And to think last night he thought he was going through an early midlife crisis, feeling sorry for himself and ready to drink his sorrows away. Now he's buying coffee and sweets for his truemate.

Castiel's good mood lasts all the way across the street but comes to a screeching halt when he realizes the only car sitting in the bar parking lot is his own. 

His blood running cold, Cas spins around hoping he's made a mistake and he just missed Dean's car somehow. Maybe it’s parked farther away than he remembers, or maybe Dean woke up and moved to a more secluded spot. Cas looks once, twice, three times. 

The lot is empty, save for his own car. 

How could this be? Why would Dean leave? Why would Dean leave  _ him? _ They were mates! Something must have happened. Or maybe Dean went to get breakfast not knowing Cas was already doing it. But why not wait to tell Cas what he was doing?

Castiel walks to his car in a daze, setting the coffee and paper bag full of sticky sweet rolls on the passenger seat. He'd wait. Surely Dean is coming back. His mate had to have a good reason for leaving, but he'd be back for Cas. He'd just wait here in his car until Dean came back.

By lunchtime, Cas has given into the gnawing pit inside of his heart. He lets out a low keening sound as he accepts that, for whatever reason, he'd been rejected by his Alpha. Used up and left behind. Maybe Dean decided he was too old after his botched heat? Maybe he left once there was a possibility of a pup? Maybe he had intended to leave from the beginning? Cas doesn't know. All he knows is that he had been left behind with a fresh mating bite and Alpha come in his belly.

A knock on his window startles him out of his wandering thoughts, but the small bloom of hope shrivels and dies instantly when he looks over to see a stern looking women staring him down through the glass.

He rolls down his window reluctantly. The last thing he wants is to talk with anyone, but maybe Dean had sent her.

"Look fella, I'm real sorry but you can't stay here. There's a shelter a few blocks over if you ain’t got a place to sleep, but I can't have you loitering in the parking lot creeping out my customers."

Castiel's heart sinks as his last fissure of hope dries up and turns to ash inside him.

"Sorry, ma’am. I was waiting for someone, but it looks like they won't be showing. I'll be on my way."

The look of pity on the woman's face is almost more than Cas can bear, but he reaches forward and starts his car. In a daze, his body on autopilot, he pulls away from the bar.

Castiel drives away and never looks back.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Dean stares at the Omega moving above him. He's beautiful, all lithe muscles, tan skin glistening with sweat, and tense thighs as they work his body up and down on Dean's fat Alpha cock. The Omega's ass is dripping wet with slick, and he clenches his channel rhythmically encouraging Dean's knot to fill rapidly.

He buries his hands in thick hair and tries to bring the Omega down to taste his mouth. Dean feels desperate to get his lips on this beautiful man. Wants to taste every inch of skin his eyes can see. 

The Omega pulls away.

Dean lets him go, the pleasure of his knot starting to pop in and out of the Omega’s tight hole too overwhelming for Dean to focus.

He grips the other man's thighs, thrusting up into his warm wet heat. 

"Hmm, Omega...look at me. I want to watch your face when I knot you."

The Omega looks up and Dean is caught in his cold blue eyes.

"Cas?"

"Hurry up Alpha. Give me that knot...fill me up...I know that's what you want. You want to fill me up. Breed me up with your litter…Well, go ahead."

Cas' eyes are like ice, not an ounce of warmth to match the words coming from his mouth. Dean feels desperate to come as his Omega continues to work himself on his cock, his knot ready to pop any second. Once again he buries his hands into Castiel's dark hair desperate to feel his Omega’s lips on his again.

He tugs gently and Cas follows until their lips are a mere hair's breadth away from touching.

"Cas please...please sweetheart, kiss me."

"No."

Dean's veins turn to ice as his Omega pulls out of his grasp. Cas never stops the movement of his hips but he glares at Dean like something you'd find at the bottom of your shoe.

"This is what you want isn't it Alpha? A warm place to stick your knot?"

Dean tries to shake his head no. Tries to tell Cas that of course that's not all he wants. That he wants everything and anything Cas is willing to give. That he wants a family and a home with the Omega. That he wants to build a life together as partners but his mouth won’t move. It's as if his lips are sewn shut and he's left to watch helplessly as Cas roughly fucks himself on Dean's knot.

He's close, and suddenly the thought of knotting Cas makes him sick to his stomach. This isn't what he wants. Dean tries to wriggle free, but Cas pins him in place with his big hands.

"I'm just giving you what you want, Dean. What you already took from me."

And with that, Cas drops down hard, taking his knot all the way inside his ass and locking them together as Dean ties off and rope after rope of come is ripped out of him to paint Cas' insides. His vision whites out as pleasure overtakes his body and he squeezes his eyes shut tightly.

Panting harshly, Dean opens his eyes on a quiet sob to be met with the darkness of his room and his very empty bed.

_ Shit _ .

It's been over a month since he met Cas, and Dean was still dreaming about the blue-eyed Omega. Some dreams are worse than others, but they always leave him feeling hollow and wanting.

Dean rubs his hands over his tired face. A fucking month and still he's being haunted by the one person he couldn't have. With a sigh, Dean rolls out of bed to take a shower. His skin is tacky with cooling sweat and come from how intense his dream had been.

He goes through his morning in a kind of daze; dreaming of Cas always puts him on edge. His body is happy to have found some release while his brain tortures itself with how wrong it is to get off on thoughts of an Omega who probably hates his guts.

His mind wanders to the morning after he mated Cas, the memory seared into his brain like a cruel joke. He can't remember the sound of his mother's voice or the name of the beta he took to prom, hell Dean can't even remember what he ate for breakfast 3 days ago but he can remember every second of that horrible morning like it was yesterday.

**_One month earlier_ **

Dean's eyes snap open as he starts awake. Something is wrong but it takes his brain a moment to clear the haze of sleep clouding his thoughts. Finally, as Dean takes in the empty space next to him, he realizes what's wrong.

He's alone.

Dean groans loudly as he sits up and takes stock of his surroundings. The car reeks of sex, and Dean cringes at the stains on his Baby's leather seats. His neck aches where his Omega bit him, his body is sore and his skin itchy where come and slick has dried overnight. 

Dean peers out the windows but only sees one lone car in the lot, and it looks like it's been there awhile. An old beat up Lincoln that the Alpha assumes had to have been abandoned. No sign of his Omega. Looking around the car, Dean sees their clothes still piled together on the floor, the blue tie Cas had been wearing hanging from the rearview mirror. Castiel's big tan coat is missing though, and worry starts to creep into the back of Dean's mind.

Last night had been like a dream. Meeting his truemate was something Dean had all but given up on at this point of his life. After all, he was already 35 and statistically your chances of finding your truemate dropped by half once you hit 40. Something about how as you age your scent gland weakens and makes it harder to scent each other without being within mere feet of one another.

Dean's been a bachelor his whole adult life. What friends and family he still has always just assumed he enjoyed the life of a lone Alpha -- having his choice of bed partners without being tied down by a mate and pups, and for a while, Dean  _ had _ enjoyed it. 

He certainly never gave a hint that he was unhappy with his single status. But in reality, Dean has been dreaming of finding his truemate since he was a little boy. His mother used to tuck him in at night and tell him outlandish stories of truemates meeting in all kinds of weird ways. 

After the night his father got drunk and wrapped the family car around a tree with his mother sitting in the passenger seat, that desire to find his truemate had doubled. 

Dean wanted a mate and a family. He wanted dinners around the table and agonizing school plays and big Christmas get togethers. He wanted what his father took from him when he made the piss poor decision to drive home drunk, too full of Alpha pride to allow his Omega wife to take the wheel instead.

For years now, all Dean wanted was to settle down. He's been quietly remodeling his home to make it more family friendly. He even works from home in case his Omega would rather have a career than stay home with pups, and hell last night was the first time he'd been laid in almost a year because he just couldn't take another empty one night stand.

Last night, he thought he had found his future when he mated Cas. He’d fallen asleep tied to his Omega with hopes for happiness and dreams of introducing him to what little family he has left. His brother, his uncle Bobby, who had taken them in after his parents' death, his friend Charlie who was as good as a sister to him.

Now he's alone with no Castiel in site and a frozen hand squeezing his rapidly beating heart inside his chest.

Dean wiggles into his clothes from last night before crawling out of the backseat. The cool early morning air makes him shiver as he spins in place looking for any sign of his mate.

"Cas?" He hollers but only the quiet of morning answers him. Dean gets in the driver's seat before he realizes he doesn't have his keys. After a brief search he finds them still stuck in the door lock from when he had been desperately trying to get his Omega into the backseat.

He gets back behind the wheel turning the engine over and letting the heat blast him until the only tremble in his hands comes from his anxious thoughts surrounding his missing mate.

Where is he? Is he in trouble? Did he need help?

Did he leave voluntarily?

At that thought, Dean feels sick to his stomach. Did...did his Omega reject him? Thoughts of Cas asking for a condom and then Dean having to knot him without one started to run through his mind. Dean never would have gone against Cas' wishes if his life hadn't been on the line. But maybe Cas didn't remember that. The fever had been bad -- Cas had hardly been responsive at the time. It had taken everything in him not to let his erection wilt in the face of his fear for his mate. Only the mating hormones coursing through his body allowed him to finally pop his knot. Within moments, he could feel a noticeable drop in Cas' body temperature, and soon his shallow breathing had evened out into the deep breaths of a normal sleep.

Dean had been able to think of nothing else besides his joy that his mate was ok. Just a week ago, his brother's fiancee, a nurse at the downtown Omega free clinic, had worked on a case of an older Omega who died when they scented their truemate without making contact, and the resulting heat had been so bad, she died before the ambulance got her to the clinic.

But if Castiel doesn't remember anything beyond their initial mating, his Omega would have woken up with Dean's come in his ass and no knowledge of what happened. He's probably out there thinking Dean took advantage of him while he was passed out. 

_ Oh God _ Dean had to find him.

He peeled out of the parking lot without looking back. The only thing on his mind the need to find his Omega and set things right.

  
  


...............

After almost 2 weeks with no word from Castiel, Dean was on the verge of giving up. The day after their mating, Dean had checked every clinic, hospital, shelter, and even the jail with no luck. All he had was a name to go on, and apparently claiming mate status didn't help for shit when trying to look up people's private information.

After three days, he had caved, calling in a favor from Charlie to see if she could find Cas. Charlie was a wiz with computers, and if anyone could find his Omega, it would be her. After two more days of anxious waiting, all she could dig up was his address, which was a dead end as the whole building was shut down because of some kind of bug infestation, a company he doesn't work for anymore, and a parking ticket from 3 years ago. No Facebook or other social media accounts, no family to speak of, and she even tried to pull up his birth records only to hit a dead end. Dean hadn't pushed for more, because he didn't want to admit to Charlie why he needed Cas' info.

So once again he was back to square one. He had even contemplated filing out a Missing Persons report, but if Cas really had rejected him, then all that would accomplish is harassing his Omega while humiliating himself in the process. 

He had hoped that Cas would come looking for him. Dean had told Ellen, the owner of the Roadhouse bar where he'd met Cas, to let the whole staff know to contact him if a dark-haired blue-eyed Omega came around asking for him, but no one with that description had shown up.

Dean was starting to get the message loud and clear. He obviously wasn't wanted. Castiel had mated him in a frenzy and then woke to find him lacking. 

Even with the weight of rejection on his shoulders though, Dean couldn't quite shake the nagging feeling his Omega was in some kind of trouble. His newly awakened mating hormones flooded his system with testosterone. His body screamed at him to protect, nest, provide for his mate.

Dean knows he's pining. His sleep is almost non-existent, he has little to no appetite, and his mood is all over the place, fluctuating between anger, depression, and a resigned apathy.

His work is suffering, he's lost weight, and his friends are starting to notice he's been skipping out on social events more and more. 

With his mind a whirl of mixed up emotions, Dean decides the best thing for him is to go for a drive. Waiting around his house was getting him nowhere, and with his thoughts spinning in circles, he figures he might as well do something that brings him a little joy.

For the first week after Castiel left, Dean couldn't even look at his car, which was really saying something, with the way he considers the ‘67 Chevy Impala his Baby. But the memories of his mating had just been too fresh and the scent of Castiel lingering too strong for him to handle even a short drive in her. After a lot of scrubbing and scent neutralizing spray, Dean was at least able to handle driving around town.

After grabbing a power bar and a bottle of water, the Alpha hops in his Baby and hits the road. He's at the edge of town when his gas light comes on. Dean curses to himself with an annoyed groan; he never lets his Baby get this low on fuel, but he hasn't exactly been the picture of focus lately.

With a frustrated sigh, he makes his way to the Gas ‘N Sip he can see on the corner of the block. The place is kind of busy, but there's a pump open and waiting for him as he pulls in. As he starts filling up the tank, the sound of a pup laughing catches his attention. It's a big full laugh, like whatever the pup is seeing is the funniest thing in the world. The sound is the first thing to put a genuine smile on his face in weeks, and he cranes his neck to see where it's coming from. But what he sees has his blood running cold. 

There, not more than 30 feet away, is Cas. 

He's holding a small pup and smiling at her so big, his nose is scrunched up and his gums are showing. He looks beautiful in a crisp white shirt buttoned all the way to the top, no doubt to hide his still healing mating bite, a blue vest that marked him an employee but also makes his eyes stand out so starkly, Dean can see the blue of them from where he's standing. 

Next to him and standing a little too close for comfort is a relatively good looking blonde woman smiling at the pair fondly. Dean zeroes in on the way she has her hand resting on Cas' arm, the touch both familiar and possessive. The woman is watching Cas and the pup with bright eyes, and Dean thinks he's gonna be sick.

Cas says something to the pup before tickling her under the chin and getting another bright burst of laughter out of her. They look good together, like a real family, and Dean suddenly understands what happened the night they mated.

It's not very common but it does happen that a couple marries without mating. It's even not unheard of for truemates to meet but not get together because one is in an established relationship. And from what Dean was seeing right now, Castiel Novak looks plenty established. 

The pup couldn't be older than a year, and even though Dean couldn't tell if the woman was an Alpha from this distance, he had to assume Cas was the Omega parent. No wonder he'd wanted to avoid getting knocked up. He already had a pup.

The Omega must have been further gone in his heat than Dean realized when he told Dean to mate him. The poor guy probably woke up and was too afraid of what appeared to be an Alpha who had taken advantage of him. No wonder he didn't wake Dean up and offer any kind of explanation before taking off. Cas left because he didn't need Dean -- he already had his family. Dean was just too much of a desperate schmuck to realize it.

Well, now he knows. 

And even though he'd all but given up hope of finding Cas again, this still hurt in a way he wasn't prepared to handle.

Dean's ears are buzzing with a low sound. It takes him a moment to realize the sound is coming from him. Pain slams into his chest, and he can't catch his breath. He has to get out of there before Cas sees him. No way can he take the look of hate or disgust or, even worse, pity that he might find on his Omega's face.

_ No _ ...not his Omega. Castiel was never really his Omega... he knows this now.

Quickly, he finishes with the gas and slides into his car. Baby's engine roars to life and in his haste to escape he peels out like a bat out of hell. Dean doesn't think. He can't think, he just drives. Baby's wheels eat up the miles as he lets his mind drift into nothingness. He doesn't have a plan beyond putting as much distance between himself and the future he lost.

Dean drives until he can't keep his eyes open anymore, and then he pulls over and sleeps on the side of the road, only to wake up and start all over again. He's been driving for at least 2 days when the phone calls start. Sam, Charlie, Bobby, even his neighbor Benny calls, but Dean just keeps driving.

He pulls over and sleeps when he's tired, eats at whatever drive thru is open when he's hungry, and no matter what, he doesn't think about Castiel and the life they could have had.

It takes a week, seven whole days of unending mindless driving, before Dean can handle the thought of going home to his empty house.

What a fool he had been. For years, all Dean had thought about was meeting his truemate. Like that was all it took to have the perfect happy family. Of course it wasn't that easy. Of course Dean would be one of the few people to have a mate that already had a family. He was a Winchester after all, and the only luck Winchesters have is bad luck.

By the time he pulls into the driveway of his dark and silent house, Dean is exhausted. Tomorrow, he'll start making calls and face the music for bailing on his life with no warning for a week. For now, he plans to pass out in his own bed, and hopefully the exhaustion will keep his dreams at bay.

It was time to do what Dean does best. Put on a smile and fake it till he makes it.

  
  
  
**_Present day_ **

  
  


Dean shakes his head to clear his head. He has too much work to finish up today to let himself drift too far into thoughts of Castiel. Since returning home from his unexpected road trip, Dean's thrown himself into his work, trying to bury his thoughts and feelings of despair in his workshop.

He manages to choke down half a bowl of cereal and a cup of black coffee, his stomach protesting its harsh treatment. He scrolls through his online orders before making his way to the garage which he converted to his workshop the summer after he moved in.

He's only been at it for a few hours when Sam shows up. Dean's been avoiding his brother for weeks, always giving an excuse if his brother wanted to meet up. Dean could hide his pining over a phone call, but one look at the bags under his eyes and his sallow face and Sam would know something was wrong.

Dean should have known he wouldn't be able to dodge his brother for that long. The noisy giant was standing in front of him, a look of shock and concern as he takes in Dean's appearance. 

It had only taken a few moments for Dean's shame to turn to anger. Who does Sam think he is barging into  _ his  _ home uninvited and demanding answers?!

"Dean, I know something's wrong. So are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

"Fuck off, Sam. I said I was fine when you called me yesterday, and I'm still fine today."

"Dean, no you're not! You've been moping for weeks, and Charlie said you haven't been to a single game night since you got back from that weird road trip. Which, what the hell was up with that anyway? Benny says you're working all hours of the night--"

Dean's gonna kill Benny. Just because his friend lives next door, he thinks he can tattle on him to his little brother. Well, he's got another think coming.

"Fuck Benny, too. That nosy asshole needs to mind his own business, and so do you."

"Dean, you  _ are _ our business! We're worried about you. You look like shit man, and if you wont tell me, then I'm calling Bobby and you know he'll drive his crotchety old ass down here and give you hell."

"God dammit Sam, that's playing dirty and you know it."

"Yeah, well, whatever it takes to pull your head out of your own ass. Now, are you going to tell me what's going on with you or not?"

They lock eyes, neither Alpha willing to back down and both just stubborn enough to wait the other out, and Dean swears if he wasn't so goddamn tired, Sam never would have worn him down.

"Fucking fine! You want me to tell you what's going on? Fine! I met my truemate ok? Are you happy now?"

Sam looks momentarily shocked before a smile breaks out on his face.

"Dean, that's amazing. I know you never really talked about it, but I know how much that means to you."

"Yeah well, it doesn't matter ‘cause he bailed."

"What?"

"He rejected me, took off before I even woke up... didn't even bother with a ‘goodbye’ or a ‘fuck you’ or anything, just fucked off and left me behind."

"Oh... _ oh _ Dean, I'm so sorry. Did you try looking for him? Maybe there was a mistake?"

"No man, I doubt that. He…" Dean takes a shuddering breath and looks down at his shoes. "He's already got a family. Pups and all. I saw them a few weeks after we mated."

"Fuck, Dean, I'm so sorry man. Why didn't you tell anyone? It's been what, a month? We could have helped you, Dean."

"Telling everyone I found my truemate only to be rejected doesn't really sound like a good time to me, Sammy."

"Dean, you said you saw him with his family, but did you actually talk to him? Because maybe--"

"No. No Sam, no maybes. The guy made his choice, and it wasn't me. I have to focus on trying to get over this--"

"Hey, Dean?"

Dean spins around to glare at the man standing in the open doorway of his garage. Benny has some nerve showing his face here after ratting him out to Sam, and Dean is still pissed.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Benny holds up his hands as if Dean is a cornered animal, and honestly he might as well be.

"Whoa there, brother. Just wanted to tell ya there's a guy out here looking you. Said you know him."

"What guy?"

Benny gestures behind him before he steps aside to reveal the man standing behind him just out of sight.

Dean freezes and his breath catches in his throat.

"Hello, Dean."


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**_One month earlier_ **

Castiel drives, feeling numb to his surroundings. It feels like he blinks and then suddenly his mother's house is coming into view, with its perfect manicured lawn and picturesque shutters and porch light shining like a beacon in the waning evenly light. Looking at his childhood home, Castiel is seized by a sudden panic.

He can't go to his mother's reeking of sex, Alpha, and rejection. The woman would have a field day, and even at her most well meaning, Cas often feels smothered under her judgmental views of his life. 

He turns the wheel sharply to take the next side street. He'll go to a hotel. He could afford it for a few days while he gets his shit back together. It would be a small price to pay to maintain at least a little dignity during all this. It's a short ride to a decent enough hotel, and while it isn't the classiest of neighborhoods, it fits his needs perfectly.

Once Cas checks in, paying a full week in advance, he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's exhausted and sad and just wants to lie down and not get up until things make sense again.

Cas falls into bed and crawls under the thin white comforter with a groan. It smells faintly of bleach, but it helps to clear the notes of Dean's scent that still cling to Cas' skin. Thankfully, exhaustion takes over and pulls Cas into the blackness of sleep.

The next day Castiel blinks awake to darkness. His body aches in a way that says he's been sleeping a long time, but with the hotel curtains blocking out the sun, he has no idea how late it actually is. He doesn't have a phone since he had to leave his company cell behind when he was let go. So after shuffling around, he finds the digital alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. Its red numbers blare unapologetically at him taunting him with the time:11:30. 

Cas slept more than 12 hours. He groans and starts working his way out of the tangle of sheets he's wrapped himself in while tossing in his sleep. His knees protest, but he forces himself into the bathroom to relieve his bladder.

The light is harsh and Cas flinches away, avoiding his reflection in the large mirror over the sink. He entertains the thought of getting in the shower, but in the end, it just seems like more effort than it's worth. It isn't like he has anywhere to go or anyone waiting for him. 

Well, except for his mother, who's probably chomping at the bit since he never showed up the other night and has yet to call. The thought of calling now still feels like too much of a chore, so he falls back into bed and decides to just let himself wallow. Just for today, and then he'll get up and shower and deal with things...

6 days later, a pounding at the door wakes Cas from a restless sleep. It takes him a moment to register the noise and the annoyed voice coming from the other side of the door.

"Mr. Novak...Mr. Novak you missed checkout, sir. You've declined cleaning services all week and we must insist that you vacate the room, so our staff can assess how much work needs to be done to clean up. If you wish to extend your stay, you must talk to the receptionist at the front desk."

Cas looks around the dark room. He hasn't opened the curtains once in the week he's been here. Every surface is covered in used coffee cups and dishes left from the room service he's been living on in order to avoid leaving the room.

He also hasn't showered once or even brushed his teeth. His skin is greasy, eyes dull, hair lank and dirty. 

He's a mess.

Another loud banging snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Just..." He coughs and has to clear his throat several times before he can continue, his voice raspy from disuse.

"Just a moment, please."

He shuffles to the door and cracks it open just enough to see the man standing on the other side. He can see the moment the smell from the room reaches the man's nose.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The guy looks ready to throw Cas out with the trash, and he attempts to give a sheepish smile, but it comes off as more of a grimace.

"Yes, yes of course. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I uh...I overslept. Might I have an hour to shower and gather my things? I will of course pay for the extra day since I missed checkout."

It's the most Castiel has spoken in a week, and his throat burns with each word.

The man stares at him for a moment, obviously trying to decide if he should trust Castiel or not. His face shifts from disgust to pity, and he nods his head firmly.

"One hour, no later, and if the room needs to be de-scented by professionals, your card  _ will _ be charged."

Castiel thanks the man before closing the door softly. What is he doing? He couldn't just let himself wither away because some asshole Alpha didn't think he was good enough as a mate. 

He grabs a change of clothes and his toiletry bag from the duffel he hasn't touched since he'd dropped it at the foot of the bed the first night he arrived.

The bathroom isn't so bad since Cas hasn't used it for more than the required toilet break. He takes a deep breath and looks in the mirror for the first time in a week.

He doesn't even recognize himself. His hair is a tangled mess, eyes sunken in with dark shadows underneath, his skin is shiny and he's well passed needing a shave. Overall, he didn't look good.

First, Cas strips until he's standing naked in front of the mirror. It's hard to look at how far he's let himself go, but he forces his eyes to stay trained on his body. No wonder Dean didn't want him. A beautiful Alpha like Dean still in his prime could have any Omega he wanted. Why would he want to tie himself down with a socially awkward, too-old Omega like him?

With a sigh, Cas turns away to start the shower. He turns the taps but doesn't step under the spray until steam is filling the room. He squirts a generous amount of his body wash onto one of the rough hotel washcloths and sets to work scrubbing his skin until he's pink and feels raw under the stinging spray of hot water. He uses the small complementary shampoo bottle from the hotel to wash his hair twice, the water coming away grey, before finally rinsing off and stepping out.

Once he's finished and wrapped in a scratchy white towel Cas once again stands in front of the sink. Brushing his teeth is painful, and the brush leaves his gums bleeding by the time he's done. After flossing thoroughly and swishing a bit of mouthwash, wincing at the sting of alcohol on his tender gums, Cas starts to tackle his beard. 

Once his face is Omega soft again, he attempts to comb his hair. He manages to get most of the knots out but doesn't bother trying to tame them into any form of a style.

For the first time in a week, Castiel feels almost human again.

He rushes through dressing so he can get out before his hour is up. Once in his car, Cas realizes that even after a week, he still doesn't have any place to go or anyone expecting him. At one point he'd called his mother from the hotel, claiming his heat had come early and he'd opted to spare her delicate sensibilities. There's still several days before he can return to his apartment, and with no job and no close friends, Cas feels like he's adrift in his own life.

With no better options, Castiel simply starts driving. 

It feels like hours later when his stomach starts to protest its emptiness, and so does his old car. A Gas 'N Sip sits like an oasis in the desert at the end of the block, and Cas pulls in to fill his tank. He goes inside to pay and pick out something to eat that will tide him over until he figures out what to do for the evening. 

After snagging a package of jerky and a bottle of water, Cas makes his way to the register where a harried-looking blonde woman stands, waiting to ring him up.

"Hello, sir. Did you find everything ok?"

"Uh yes, thank you. I also have twenty on pump 3."

The phone starts to ring as she scans his purchases and with an apologetic smile, she snatches up the receiver.

"Gas ‘N Sip on Glendale, this is Nora, how can I help...oh. Tim, this is the 3rd time this month. Listen, I can't keep covering for you. If you miss your shift tonight I'm afraid I'm going to be forced to let you go...hello? Dammit!"

She slams the phone back into its cradle with a huff of annoyance before turning back to Castiel with an apologetic smile

"Oh, I'm sorry you had to hear that, sir. It's just so hard finding good help these days. You wouldn't happen to know of anyone reliable looking for a job?"

Castiel opens his mouth to tell the woman no, he doesn't, but the words catch in his throat. Working at a gas station isn't really what he'd had in mind for future employment, but it would be something. Something to occupy his mind and keep him from drowning in pining sickness.

"Actually...um, I'm looking for work myself."

Nora's eyes light up and, after a hasty interview, she hires him on the spot, starting with his first shift tomorrow morning for training.

Castiel leaves feeling a little lighter. It would still be a long time before he feels like himself again, but at least he isn't holed up like some troll in a cave. After a short deliberation, Cas decides to check into another hotel until his apartment is ready.

As the sky darkens with evening, Cas worries he won't be able to sleep. All he's done is drive around all day, his conversation with Nora being the only human interaction he's had all week besides the hotel employee who'd asked him to leave his room.

But Cas shouldn't have worried, because as soon as his head hits the pillow, exhaustion pulls him down into sleep. His rest is fitful and racked with nightmares about his Alpha, but it's the best he can hope for, for now.

He's nervous and feels a little sick to his stomach the next day as he makes his way to the Gas ‘N Sip. When he walks into the little store, he's met with chaos. Nora is standing behind the register in regular street clothes with a screaming pup wiggling in her arms. The poor woman looks on the verge of tears when she looks up and sees Cas standing in the doorway.

"Castiel! Thank god! I'm so sorry to do this to you on your first day, but my babysitter quit and I didn't know what else to do. I'm going to give you a quick run down, and then I'll have to leave you to it. I called in Alfie to come in early to help you out, so you should only be alone for an hour or two."

Castiel's eyes feel like they might pop out of his head. He took this job because he thought it would be monotonous and easy, but he could see Nora is struggling and needs him to be able to handle himself. He straightens his shoulders and gives a firm nod. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

He scurries behind the counter where Nora has a blue vest and a shiny new nametag waiting for him.

The pup hasn't calmed at all and it's grating against all his Omega instincts not to offer some kind of comfort to the poor thing. Nora is bouncing in place trying to calm the little girl as she walks Cas through the steps of using the register.

"That should be all you need to know for now. Most people pay for gas at the pump, but if they come inside, just ring it up miscellaneous for now and make a note of it so I can change it in the system later."

Cas nods along, trying to focus on his boss’s instructions rather than the ache in his arms as he struggles not to reach out for Nora's pup.

"Ok, sorry... I know this is fast, but follow me outside to my car, and I'll explain a few more things."

They're only a few steps outside when Cas can't take it anymore and holds out his arms.

"Sorry if this is too forward, but may I hold your pup?"

Nora looks down in embarrassment, probably thinking Cas is judging her for her pup’s fit, but she gives a little nod and passes the wailing girl over to Cas' waiting embrace.

Cas moves the fussy pup to rest her head on his shoulder, her little nose buried in the junction where his neck and shoulder meet. He rubs her back with a firm hand and shushes her softly. Within moments, the wailing has quieted to soft little whimpers and shuddering breaths until finally the pup goes lax and heavy in his arms as she falls asleep.

At this point, Nora bursts into tears.

"Oh my god. I've been trying to calm her down for almost an hour. I both hate you and love you right now. How did you do that?"

Cas gives her a gentle smile. Nora is Alpha, and while Alphas were more than capable of raising their pups, they also couldn't help the way their stress hormones affect those around them. Nora was the picture of  _ Stressed Alpha _ right now, and her pup was simply reacting to the stimulus. Unfortunately, it usually resulted in a cycle of stress: the pup crying and upset from their Alpha's stress, and the Alpha becoming more stressed when they can't calm their pup, and it just goes on and on. 

Castiel has always loved pups. He had been interested in possibly pursuing a teaching career at one point and had taken several child development classes in school before his mother had convinced him to focus on business. He was often called a pup whisperer at large gatherings for being able to calm even the most upset pup.

"It's ok, Nora. You would have settled her eventually. My scent was just already calm for her. She's a beautiful pup."

Nora wipes the tears from her eyes and smiles up at Castiel like he hung the moon.

"You wouldn't happen to be interested in babysitting, would you?"

Castiel gives a huff of laughter but holds the pup a little closer. This was the most like himself he's felt since that horrible day his Alpha rejected him.

"I mean, sorry, you probably have your own pups to deal with."

  
  


Cas shakes his head softy so as not to disturb the sleeping girl on his shoulder. 

  
  


"No. I don't have any pups of my own, but I'd love to help you with yours."

Nora's eyes go soft and sad for a moment, no doubt drawing her own conclusions about Cas' statement. His scent would tell her that he's mated, and most people still assumed a mated Omega in their thirties without kids must mean they were tragically barren.

Well, let her think what she will. It was better than explaining what actually happened.

Nora quickly walks him through a few other items of interest while he holds her sleeping pup safe in his arms. He stomps down hard on the longing that her sweet scent stirs inside him and tries to focus on what Nora is saying.

His gut clenches painfully when he passes the sleeping pup back into her mother's arms.

"Thank you again, Castiel. You're a real lifesaver, and I promise it's not always this crazy around here."

Castiel waves goodbye as Nora pulls away, then heads inside to start his shift. It's quiet for the most part, a few people pulling in for gas or a quick snack, and before long, a young Beta boy with a bright smile is introducing himself as Alfie and showing him how to stock shelves and work the coffee machine. The boy had to be 10 years younger than him easily, and it left Cas feeling a little humble to have this young man training him for his new job.

Over the next few days, Cas learns things like how to identify a fake i.d., just how disgusting some people leave a public restroom, and how to fix a Slurpee machine. It isn't anything to write home about, but it is honest work, and it gets him through the day. By the end of his first week, he has even received notice he can move back into his apartment. 

He is starting to feel like he can do this, that maybe his Alpha rejecting him isn't the nail in his coffin he thought it was. Only a touch of lingering nausea and exhaustion is left of his pining sickness, and though his dreams are often more like nightmares, Castiel is coping.

Once he's moved back into his apartment, Cas has even started watching Nora's pup,Tanya, on his off days. It helps him feel a little less lonely and also like Nora is starting to become a real friend. After a few weeks of awkwardly avoiding the elephant in the room, she finally manages to pull the real story out of him as to why he is mated but living alone. 

She is absolutely furious on his behalf and even offers to help track his Alpha down and teach him a lesson, but Cas refuses. All he wants is to forget Dean Winchester and try to move on. Watching little Tanya is one of the very few bright spots in Castiel's life at the moment, but she also leaves him feeling empty and full of longing.

Still, his days have a certain kind of easy routine, and before long, it's been a month since his mating. This morning, though, his stomach is giving him more trouble than usual. For weeks now, his pining sickness has mostly affected his gut, leaving him with light cramping and low grade nausea, but this morning his stomach is positively rolling. His eyes have barely opened before he's flinging his comforter back and running for the bathroom. 

Saliva starts to pool in his mouth and Cas knows there's no stopping what's coming next. He barely makes it to the toilet before he's dropping to his knees and hurling up the meager remains of his dinner from last night. It takes a while for his stomach to calm down enough for him to pick himself up and rinse out his mouth. 

While reaching for his toothbrush, Cas wonders if he ate something bad. He's had a lot of take-out lately, so it could have been anything that finally pushed him past annoyingly nauseous to full-blown vomiting.

As he brushes his teeth and gets ready for work, a small voice in the back of his mind is quietly screaming that throwing up means more than a small bout of food poisoning. Cas ignores the voice with every cell of his body. He can't think about that possibility right now. It's too much, too big for him to handle.

Cas finishes getting ready in record time and heads out to his car. It's only a short drive to the Gas ‘N Sip, and by the time he pulls into the employee parking lot around back, he's already feeling better, if not still a little tired. 

He walks in to see Nora smiling brightly at him. As soon as she gets a good look at his pale face though, her smile starts to fade.

"Castiel, you know if you don't feel good you  _ can _ call in sick. Plus, you get 3 heat leave days a month."

Nora starts to walk towards him, her hand outstretched as if to check his forehead for a temperature, but as soon as she gets within reach, she freezes. Her eyes widen in shock and her lips part in a soft O shape.

"Oh...oh Castiel, sweety."

"What? What's wrong?"

It comes out weak because he already knows. If he's honest with himself, he's been waiting for this day for weeks.

"Honey, your scent’s changed."

Cas closes his eyes, trying to block out the look of pity on Nora's face. So this is it. No denying it any longer... he's pregnant. Pregnant and abandoned by his Alpha like yesterday's garbage. He tries to take deep breaths to keep from completely breaking down, but he can feel his hands trembling. He needs to get out of there and fast.

"I need to go, Nora. I'm sorry about my shift but I need...I just need to go."

"Of course sweetheart, don't even worry about it. I've got that new hire starting tomorrow so you take all the time you need, ok?"

All Cas could do is nod before turning on his heel and practically running to his car. The distraught Omega pulls out and starts driving, his thoughts running a mile a minute.

Really, he shouldn't be shocked. He's known this whole time that there was a very strong possibility this could happen. Even with one unprotected knotting, mating heats were the most fertile heat an Omega has in their lifetime. They were notorious for producing pregnancies of multiples as well. Cas shudders at the thought of not only being pregnant but possibly being pregnant with more than one pup with no Alpha in sight.

Cas is devastated. 

Not because of the pup -- he's always wanted pups -- but because he wanted pups with his mate. This is supposed to be a happy moment, but instead it's tainted by his Alpha's rejection. Being a single Omega parent wasn't impossible, but it was hard. He sees the way Nora struggles with Tanya on a daily basis. Was that to be his life, too?

Thinking about the whispers that would follow him and the unwanted questions about where his mate is has anger building inside Cas. It rapidly fights its way to the surface, quickly replacing his feelings of grief.

Why should Dean be spared the ridicule and harsh treatment when he is just as responsible for the pup growing in him as Cas is? It's unfair and unjust that Cas should have to shoulder all the weight of this moment, while Dean is off doing god only knows with anyone he pleases.

In a fit of rage, Cas pulls to the side of the road to dig out a small scrap of paper he's had in his wallet for the last month. During one particularly bad evening when Cas' pining had been almost too much to handle, he had started digging around on the internet until he found Dean's address. It was attached to a website set up for people to order custom-made furniture. Cas had cried for hours looking at the smiling picture of his Alpha on the webpage. He had looked so strong and handsome.

He'd scribbled down Dean's address but had yet to gather enough courage to show up at his house unannounced, even though he kept the address on him at all times.

With a calm determination borne from rage, Cas pulls back onto the road and heads for his Alpha's house. Cas is done being a passive victim to an Alpha's whims. Dean mated him, he knotted him, and he knocked him up, and Cas isn't going to let him get away with simply walking away.

Castiel's rage carries him through the twenty-minute drive to a nice looking neighborhood that screams happy suburban family. It isn't really what he had pictured for a bachelor Alpha. 

Cas pulls up to a cute little two-story house, white with green shutters and flowers lining the brick walkway. Dean's monster of a car is parked in the driveway, a soft whimper leaves his mouth at the sight of the beautiful car where he had been claimed. He shakes off his conflicting thoughts and holds onto his anger. Dean's car in the driveway simply means that Cas has found the right house. There is also a shiny yellow Prius parked alongside Dean's car, which makes Cas' stomach clench painfully. 

Did his Alpha have another mate? Maybe a wife or husband he keeps at home while he goes out picking up Omegas in bars? The thought just fuels Castiel's anger and propels him from his car after throwing it in park behind Dean's behemoth.

He storms up to the front door and knocks loudly against the wood. After several minutes, he moves onto ringing the bell repeatedly. As time goes on with no answer and no movement behind any of the windows, Cas starts to feel the anger that's been fueling him wane. 

What was he doing here? 

A queasy rumble of his stomach reminds him why he is so mad in the first place. Cas gently cups his lower abdomen with both hands and takes a deep, steadying breath. He can do this.

With two cars in the driveway, someone surely must be home. Cas starts picking his way around the side of the house, peeking into windows for signs of life. He's stretched up on his tiptoes trying to look into what must be a kitchen window, when a large hand clamps down on his shoulder and spins him around with a harsh jerk. 

He cries out in surprise and instantly shrinks away from the perceived threat, his body automatically curling over to protect his vulnerable belly.

"Whoa, easy there, brother. I'm not gonna hurt ya. Just wonderin’ why a nice fella like you is pokin’ around my neighbor’s house."

Cas takes a moment to calm himself as he looks this stranger up and down, sizing him up. The man looks like a bear or an old football player. He's tall and stocky with a gruff voice and deep accent. He's not Alpha, though. Castiel gives a subtle sniff, Beta, not that that eliminates the threat.

The man's lips tick up in a smirk, but he doesn't try to touch Castiel again. He just waits patiently for Cas to identify himself. He stands back up to his full height and straightens his shoulders, and projecting a confidence he doesn't really have, Castiel speaks in a steady voice.

"I'm looking for Dean Winchester. It's a matter of great importance, and the information is time-sensitive."

The stranger narrows his eyes and seems to be contemplating how truthful Cas is being or if maybe he's a government worker. He'd ditched his blue work vest and name tag, so he is only wearing black slacks and a white button up shirt. He looks like he could have come from any one of a dozen different office buildings.

Just then, the breeze shifts, and Castiel can see the moment this hulk of a man catches his scent. Betas didn't have the most sensitive of noses, oftentimes missing the more intricate and complex notes that allow Alphas and Omegas to scent emotions. But they had no trouble discerning secondary genders or mate status. And of course, everyone is able to scent his pregnancy now.

  
  


Surprise blooms across the other man's face, but whatever suspicions he had held seem to have been sated by Castiel's scent. He holds out his hand like a peace offering.

"Name’s Benny, and you are?"

Castiel relaxes a little and shakes the Beta’s hand firmly.

"Castiel. Castiel Novak."

His name doesn't spark any kind of recognition for this Benny guy, so either he's not close with Dean or Dean hasn't told anyone about Castiel. He's not sure which he prefers, so he pushes the thought away.

"Well, Castiel, let me help ya. During the day, Dean can usually be found in his woodshop. Follow me."

Benny starts for the other side of the house where the garage sits and Castiel trails a few feet behind him.

This is it. He's going to see Dean again, and for better or worse, tell the Alpha he's pregnant and that he expected Dean to uphold his end of the weight of this news.

As they get closer to the garage, Cas can hear raised voices coming from an open doorway on the side of the house. He can hear Dean's angry voice, and it makes his heart seize. For a moment, Cas thinks about fleeing. This has to be a spectacularly bad idea. Of course it's a bad idea, an angry Alpha can lash out and do a lot of damage. What had he been thinking coming here?

Before he can turn to flee, Benny, who has been talking the whole time Cas was silently freaking out, suddenly steps aside, leaving him in full view of Dean Winchester. 

Dean looks like he's seeing a ghost, and all Castiel can do is swallow down his nerves before opening his mouth to speak.

"Hello, Dean."


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Dean can feel the blood drain from his face and he has to swallow twice before he can get his voice under control enough to answer.

"Cas?"

It comes out as a croak but it's progress. Sam is looking back and forth between the two of them so fast, Dean wonders if he'll get whiplash.

"Oh my god Dean, is this the guy?"

Dean assumes Sam is trying to be quiet, but his whisper might as well be a shout in the quiet of the garage.

"Fuck _off_ , Sam."

He says it between clenched teeth that ache with the pressure of holding his jaw shut to avoid lashing out at his brother. It's not Sam's fault Dean's life is one big soap opera shit show. 

"Uhh, well I'm guessin' y'all probably have a lot to talk about. Sam, I was wondering if you could help me out with somethin' over at my house."

Benny is obviously trying to give Sam an easy out, and the little shit doesn't hesitate to get the hell out of dodge.

"Uh...yeah, yes, of course Benny. Happy to help. I'll uh...I'll call you later Dean."

And just like that, he's alone with Castiel. He's still as beautiful as Dean remembers. His dark hair sits wild on top of his head, eyes a stormy blue and lips still just as plush and tempting as the one night Castiel was actually his.

"Cas…what are you doing here?"

Apparently this is the wrong thing to ask, because Castiel's spine snaps to attention and his eyes narrow as he becomes the very picture of fierce pissed off Omega. It has Dean's dick stirring in an instant, and he shuffles over a few steps so his work bench stands between them. Now is most definitely not the time for little Dean to suddenly take an interest.

"What am I…why do you think I'm here? What possible reason do you think I could have for showing up here a _month_ after what you did to me, _Alpha_?"

Dean flinches at the harsh words being flung at him. So he was right. Castiel thinks he took advantage of him, thinks he's just another knothead Alpha who took what he wanted with no regards to his Omega’s feelings.

"Cas, I don't...I don't know what you want me to say. I'm so sorry...for everything. I didn't _want_ to do it. The whole situation was out of my control."

Cas looks like he's been punched in the gut and the anger drains from him. He suddenly looks small and lost and so very tired. Dean hates knowing his Omega is hurting. He wants nothing more than to walk forward and take the other man into his arms and never let him go.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way Dean. I'm sorry you didn't actually want to mate me and that I wasn't enough to make you stay, but you're going to have to step up now because…"

Castiel lets out a deep sigh and what comes out next is barely more than a whisper.

"Because I'm pregnant."

Everything stops in that moment. Dean's heart, his thoughts, his body all freeze as he processes Castiel's words. His Omega is pregnant? Pregnant with his pup. The pregnancy isn't as much of a shock as the fact that Cas showed up to tell him in person.

Suddenly, Dean blanches as the only logical reason occurs to him. Cas must want to terminate the pregnancy. He must hate having a reminder of the Alpha he thinks used him growing inside him. If that's what Cas wants, then it's no surprise he'd show up on Dean's doorstep. Even in the most liberal states, mated Omegas needed their Alpha's signature to terminate a pregnancy or to put their pup up for adoption.

Even as Dean starts to panic about what to say to Castiel, something else the Omega said starts to nag at the back of his mind. 

_I'm sorry you didn't actually want to mate me…_.

Dean must have been caught up in his thoughts longer than he realized, because Castiel lets out a huff of frustration.

"I shouldn't have come here... this was a bad idea. You made it clear that you didn't want anything to do with me. I'll just send any paperwork regarding the pup through the mail."

Castiel turns as if to leave, and Dean finally manages to shake off the numb shock that has kept him rooted to the floor.

"Wait!" His voice comes out too harsh and panicky, so he clears his throat and starts again.

"Wait, just hold on a second. What are you talking about?"

Castiel stands half turned towards the doorway as if he's ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. He narrows his eyes at Dean but doesn't speak. It's a start, at least -- he's not just walking away again.

"Castiel, what do you mean I didn't want to mate you? That I didn't want you?"

That seems to spark something in his Omega, because once again he's facing him with a look of anger. Dean doesn't mind though, because it's better than watching him walk away.

"Well gee, I don't know, _Alpha,_ but disappearing the morning after mating me seems like a pretty clear message. I waited at that bar all day for you to come back like a damn fool. As if you weren't just one more Alpha who got what they wanted from me and split."

Dean reels back as if slapped. Is this some kind of sick joke? For the first time since he laid eyes on Castiel in his doorway, Dean feels his own anger awakening. 

"I don't appreciate the picture you’re painting of me, buddy, when you're the one that up and left _me_. I tried everything I could think of to find you. I checked hospitals, jails, shelters. You were like a freakin' ghost. Nothing but a cold trail consisting of a job you didn't work anymore, a phone number that was no longer in service, an apartment closed down because of some kind of bug problem, even your goddamn birth records were sealed! So don't you dare try to say I abandoned you. I woke up alone that day and spent weeks trying to find you. You know what I did find though? You and your pup with your other mate. I saw you with your family, Cas, so don't try to play innocent Omega with me!"

Dean is hauling in harsh ragged breaths as he finishes spilling his guts, the thick acrid scent of his anger swirling in the air around him. He might feel guilty as shit for the way things went down with Cas, but no way was he gonna lay down and take this guy painting him as some big bad Alpha who abandoned him. 

Castiel's eyes grew wider with each word from Dean's mouth. Now they are bright with unshed tears and his chin trembles slightly, but his back is still ramrod straight and his hands balled into fists.

"I'm adopted."

Of all the things Castiel could say after Dean's rant, that isn't what he's expecting.

"What?"

"It's why my birth records are sealed. I'm adopted. I was laid off the day we met and my cell belonged to the company. I was at the bar trying to relax after a _really_ shitty week. I don't know what you think you saw, but I _have_ no other pups. I've never been married _or_ mated before you claimed me, and I _did not leave you_ , Dean Winchester."

Dean is taken aback with the onslaught of information pouring out of Cas. Nothing about this makes sense and with his mind reeling, Dean's mouth spits out the first thought that makes its way to the front of the line.

"But...but I saw you. With that blonde woman and your pup. She had her hands on you and you were smiling. You were _laughing_."

He knows it comes off as accusatory, but a part of him doesn't care. He certainly hadn't felt like laughing while his Omega was missing.

"Dean, I can only assume you’re speaking of Nora. She's a friend and while, yes she's an Alpha, she's not now nor has she ever been _my_ Alpha. She's a single mom, and the pup you saw is hers, and I've been watching her while Nora looks for a reliable daycare. I certainly haven't felt much like laughing since you left, but that pup is one of the only bright spots in my life right now, and I'll take what I can get."

Dean's brow furrows. There it was again. Castiel claiming Dean left him.

"Let's get one thing straight. I didn't leave you, Cas. I woke up and you were gone."

Castiel gives him an incredulous look.

"Dean, I woke up next to you, went to my car to clean myself up, then went across the street to get us coffee. By the time I came back, you were gone. I waited there all day until the proprietor told me I had to leave. All I had was your name at the time and no idea what to do. After that first week, I was at rock bottom and I took the job at the gas station in an attempt to keep the pining sickness from overwhelming me."

Dean had started shaking his head halfway through Cas' speech. Is it really possible this whole mess stemmed from a simple misunderstanding?

"Where did you go for coffee? The bar was closed. Why didn't you leave a note?"

Castiel scoffs at his disbelieving tone before he takes his first step forward.

"There was a coffee house across the street, Dean. I was across the fucking street. I didn't think I'd be gone long enough to need a note."

Dean closes his eyes and lets out a soft sound of despair. His Omega hadn't walked away? He _didn't_ think he was a monster?

"Dean...why didn't you wait?"

Cas' voice has lost all traces of his earlier anger. Now it's soft and watery, and when Dean finally takes a chance to look at his face, he can see the tears waiting to spill over. They don't though; instead, they sit suspended in Castiel's eyes making his blue irises stand out starkly against the grey backdrop of this fucked up day.

"Alpha...why didn't you wait for me?"

Dean lets out a small keening sound and steps forward with his arms extended only to catch himself at the last minute. He lets his arms drop back to his sides. As much as he wants to wrap Castiel up and hold him, he doesn't have permission to touch yet.

"God Cas, I'm so sorry. I just...I woke up alone and I looked for you but I didn't see you. I didn't even see the coffee house. I thought you left, that you were mad about me knotting you without the condom, and I could only think of catching up to explain what happened."

"I know what happened, Dean. I was out of it, but I can remember most of the night."

Dean's arms ache as he watches his mate, his fingers twitching with the need to hold Castiel close and never let him go again.

"You said you didn't want to mate me. That the whole thing was beyond your control."

Dean chokes and sputters in his haste to correct Castiel's claim.

"No! Fuck no, Cas! I was talking about the part where I had to breed you. Not that...fuck this is coming out all wrong...it's not that I didn't want to do that too, but I never would have if your fever hadn't been out of control. I would never take something from you you weren't willing to give, but I couldn't watch you die either. I wanted you then and I still want you now, as my mate, Cas. Not just for a roll in the sheets. If I could do it all over again, I never would have driven away. I would have stayed."

Castiel's eyes search his face, his nose scrunching up slightly as he takes in Dean's scent, no doubt looking for any clue that Dean's lying. The Alpha stands still and lets his Omega look his fill.

"And the pup? I have every intention of keeping it, just to inform you."

Dean smiles at the determined look on his Omega's face. A weight he hadn't realized was there suddenly lifts from his chest, and a tentative hope starts to bloom in his gut.

"Yes Cas, I want you and the pup both. It's all I've ever wanted."

A cautious look of joy shines fiercely in Cas' eyes, but he doesn't say anything, doesn't move, or give Dean even a hint of what's going on inside his head, so Dean decides to throw all his cards on the table. If there is even the slightest chance of fixing this, he's willing to take it.

"Cas, I know it's asking a lot and I know it might be too late, but can we...can we maybe start over?"

It doesn't come out as confident as he was hoping, but he keeps his eyes on Castiel and hopes the Omega can hear the truth in his words. The promise of a future in his eyes.

"If I agree to this, to give us another chance, then you have to be sure this is what you want. Because I never want to go through another month like the last one again. Not ever Alpha, do you understand?"

Dean nods quickly, too overwhelmed with emotion to do much else.

"I need to hear you say it, Dean."

"Yes...god yes, Cas. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Dean steps around his workbench with his arms raised, and the tears finally spill from Castiel's eyes as he steps forward to fall into Dean's arms at last. For long moments, all they do is cling to one another, taking in deep lungfuls of air as they scent each other after weeks spent apart.

Castiel's scent has been burned into Dean's brain from the first moment he smelled him, but now he can make out the subtle differences: the notes of his own Alpha musk that broadcasts to others this is _his_ Omega and the sweet undertones that Castiel's pregnancy produces. It's intoxicating and Dean wants to bathe in it until it's embedded into his skin. It's the scent of mate and family and home, all rolled up in one breath.

When they part, Dean cups Castiel's face reverently between his warm palms. He brushes lingering tears from under too blue eyes with his thumbs and can't help the way his gaze drops to Cas' mouth when the Omega’s tongue darts out to wet his plush pink lips.

The need to taste them is overwhelming and Dean doesn't even realize he's started to lean in until he hears a faint whimper from Cas.

"Cas, is this ok? Because if it's not tell me now before I make an ass of myself."

The words are barely out of his mouth before Cas is pushing up onto his toes, crashing their lips together so hard, their teeth click painfully. Dean chuckles and pulls back just enough to soften the kiss into something tender.

One kiss turns into two, then three, four, five kisses. Finally they are both smiling too wide to keep it up, and Dean pulls back to look into his Omega's eyes. 

"Will you come inside, Cas?"

Castiel bites his lip softly and nods his head. They pull apart, but before Cas can get too far away, Dean clasps his Omega's hand in his and links their fingers together. It draws a small shy smile from Cas, making Dean's heart sore. 

Dean pulls Cas into the mudroom where they kick off their shoes before he leads his mate through the interior door that opens right into the kitchen. It's big and open with soft colors and dark cabinets, and Dean's chest puffs up with pride when he sees the look of wonder on Cas' face.

The kitchen and the garage were some of the first and only major renovations Dean worked on after moving into his home. The Alpha had made it a priority to be able to run his business from home and to have a home where family could gather.

"It's beautiful, Dean. I must confess I'm not much of a cook, but I've always wanted to advance my culinary skills."

Dean huffs a laugh at how formal Cas sounds. It reminds him of Sam, and he wonders if he's ended up with a mate as nerdy as his little brother.

"Well Cas, it just so happens I love cooking. I'd be happy to teach you some tricks." He gives Cas a wink, smirking at the light flush that settles on the other man's face.

"I'd like that, Dean."

He gets lost for a moment just staring into Cas' eyes. They're so intense, in the best way, that he feels the pull towards Cas like a physical thing. He's kissing his mate again before he even registers the thought. 

Cas pushes into him eagerly, and when Dean swipes his tongue along the seam of his lips, his Omega parts them with a breathy sigh. They get caught up in the slick slide of their mouths until a faint trickle of Omega arousal reaches his nose. Dean pulls back reluctantly. As much as he'd love to throw Castiel over his shoulder and march up to his bedroom to spend the evening knotting until they pass out, he wants to show Cas that this means more to him than just sex.

He smiles softly at the confused look on his Omega's face. He strokes dark strands of hair gently to tuck behind Cas' ears before placing a kiss to the middle of his forehead. 

"Don't get the wrong idea, Cas. I want you. I want you in any way you’re willing to give yourself, but right now I'd like to talk. Get to know you some more."

The look of confusion and the faint hint of distress that had been filtering into the Omega’s scent clears up and is soon replaced by the bright bloom of happiness.

"That sounds wonderful, Alpha. Will you finish showing me your house?"

Dean takes Cas' hand in his once again, steering his mate around the house. For the first time he doesn't feel foolish for having designed his home around the hope of one day having a mate and pups. Instead, he's able to proudly show off the open floor plan, the family room with its overstuffed couches, a recliner just right for rocking pups to sleep, and the big fenced-in backyard with a deck big enough to grill on and have family bbqs in the summer. Cas takes it all in with big eyes and a soft smile, his scent flooding the air around them with Omega contentment.

Dean's inner Alpha is positively purring, bursting with pride to have such an impressive nest to show his Omega. By the time they reach the bottom of the staircase, Cas has made his way closer and closer until he's tucked up under Dean's arm and pressed all along his side while they walk. Dean is just about to start heading upstairs when a thought stops him. The only thing to see upstairs really is the bedrooms.

A faint blush paints his cheeks as he looks down at Cas' happy face.

"Um, nothing up there but the bedrooms and the laundry. You can look at ‘em later if ya want."

Castiel laughs softly, his nose scrunching up from smiling so big. Dean's face heats even more as his heart speeds up. His Omega is so fucking beautiful. 

Just as Dean is contemplating throwing out his attempt at chivalry, a loud gurgle draws his attention. Cas looks embarrassed as he places his hands over his stomach and gives Dean a sheepish look.

"Apologies, Dean. My appetite has fluctuated quite a bit over the last month. This morning I was too sick to eat, and now I feel like I haven't eaten for days."

"Don't apologize for that, Cas. Jesus, it's no surprise you've had a hard time eating, what with dealing with pining sickness _and_ growing a pup."

Dean feels a pang of guilt thinking of how his Omega must have suffered. It was Dean's fault for not waiting, for being so fucking stupid thinking he could have an amazing Omega like Cas without fucking it up some way. He should have just waited instead of jumping to conclusions. He didn't even know there was a coffee house across the street and he's been going to the Roadhouse for years.

"Alpha!"

The whip crack of Cas' deep voice stops his spiraling thoughts immediately. 

"We both made mistakes, Dean. If we're going to start over than we need to leave those mistakes behind us. I'm not saying to forget them, but we've learned our lesson and I'm more than sure it won't happen again. If we're going to move forward together, then we each need to forgive, not just each other, but ourselves as well. So stay here with me Alpha -- don't let your mind take you away from me again."

Dean chokes back on the emotions that threaten to overwhelm him yet again. God, he's had more than enough chick flick moments for one day. He nods as he reaches for Cas, tucking his mate against him snuggly. He nuzzles into Cas to take in deep lungfuls of his calming scent. It's not going to be so easy to forgive himself, but he's willing to try if it means he gets to keep Cas.

Castiel runs his hands up and down Dean's back before pulling away.

"Well Alpha, how about you show me some of those cooking skills you were bragging about and feeding your pregnant mate?"

Dean nods eagerly at Cas' teasing tone. Nothing would make him happier than providing for Cas and their pup, and he quickly has Cas settled on a stool at the kitchen island as he starts to dig in the fridge for an idea of what to make.

He quickly realizes he has next to nothing in the way of fresh ingredients for any kind of meal, and the leftovers are questionable at best. With his head hanging down a bit, Dean goes back to Cas.

"Sorry sweetheart, it seems I haven't been keeping up with the groceries lately."

Cas gives him a fond look and pulls out his new phone.

"Well then, Alpha, allow me to demonstrate my excellent takeout ordering skills."

Cas gives him a wink and starts dialing. Dean still feels like a terrible Alpha for not being able to feed his Omega, but he's distracted by the way Cas keeps saying "skills" like a dork.

"Is Chinese ok with you, Dean?"

"Sure thing Cas, I'm not picky."

While they wait for the food to arrive, they pick out a movie and get set up in the family room. There seems to be an unspoken agreement that neither of them are ready to end the night and go their separate ways. Even the thought of Cas going back to his own apartment has Dean's gut clenching in panic. 

Cas is in the bathroom and Dean is making him a mug of tea when the doorbell rings. Dean collects the bags of food and tips the delivery kid a little extra just because he's in a good mood. By the time Cas rejoins him on the couch, he's got dinner set out and their movie queued up.

They eat mostly in silence as the tv flashes in front of them, but it's comfortable. Cas' thigh is pressed along his from hip to foot, and every so often they bump elbows as they reach for a different box of take out.

It's easy and so achingly domestic, it makes Dean's heart hurt. How is he going to be able to watch Cas drive away at the end of the night? The thought alone has him putting down his sweet and sour pork. Suddenly, he wasn't quite so hungry.

Cas must have noticed the shift in his scent, because he too sets down his food and turns his attention from the movie to Dean.

"What's wrong?"

Dean bites his lip and wrestles with himself for a few moments before he decides to just go with his gut. Cas can always tell him no. It would suck, but Dean's a big boy and can handle sleeping alone just like he has every night since their mating.

"Cas, would you, uh, maybe want to spend the night?"

Castiel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Dean is quick to amend his previous request.

"You don't have to sleep with me. I've got a guest room if that would make you more comfortable. I just...I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."

He looks down at his hands where they lay in his lap. Talking about feelings and thinking about his own wants are not Dean's forte, and it makes him squirm to be so vulnerable and open. It goes against everything his father taught him about being an Alpha, but Dean figures that probably just proves it's the better choice. His dad always was a bit of a dick.

A warm palm cups the side of his face and tilts his head until he's looking into Cas' ocean eyes. Dean doesn't think he'll ever get tired of looking into that intense gaze.

"Dean, please don't ever hesitate to tell me what you need. Even if we have to work out a different solution, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me. As mates, I want us to be partners. If we don't communicate, then we run the risk of another terrible misunderstanding."

Cas is so ernest that Dean can't help but to give him a small fond smile and nod his head.

"Ok, Cas. I can't guarantee I won't fall back on old habits but I want to try, for you."

Cas smiles so big, his gums are showing and his nose is crinkling up. It's adorable and when he leans in to press a chaste kiss to Dean's cheek, butterflies burst in his belly.

"So, uh, is that a yes? Will you stay for the night?"

"I'd love that, Dean."

They both lean in this time, their lips meeting in the middle in a sweet kiss that has Dean melting. He knows they have a long way to go and a lot of hurt to heal, but hope burns brightly inside Dean and, for the first time since he woke up alone all those weeks ago, everything feels like it's going to be ok. Like maybe he'll get his happy ending after all.


	5. Epilogue

* * *

The sky is dark when Castiel pulls into the driveway beside the black shadow of his mate’s car. It's only around 6:00, but as the season marches into winter, the days just get shorter and shorter. He never enjoys when his classes keep him out this far into the evening, but today had been especially exhausting. He rests his hand gently along the swell of his belly and smiles down at his lap. His little scholar had been very busy during Cas' lecture.

The light pouring out of the windows beckons him in like a moth to flame. Walking through the front door, Cas leaves his shoes amongst the small pile of boots that have gathered in the entryway. As he heads towards the kitchen where he can hear laughter and cheerful voices, he passes walls covered in pictures. Cas pauses to look at his favorites and finds himself overcome with nostalgia. 

Little snapshots from the past 7 years stare back at him with smiling faces, perfect moments frozen in time. 

He smiles fondly at the old photo taken the day he moved in with Dean. They're both standing in front of the house, arms slung over shoulders and huge grins on their faces. Even with their rocky start, it had only taken a month before Castiel let his apartment go in favor of moving in with his mate and starting their life as a family together.

Next to it are photos from Sam's wedding to his mate Jess. They were a sweet couple, and the ceremony had been beautiful. Dean had been proud as a peacock while Cas had waddled around ready to burst with their first pup.

Thoughts of their oldest child had Cas seeking out the picture from the day he was born. Cas is sitting in a hospital bed with Dean tucked up against his side. Their son, Thomas, was cradled in Cas' arms while Dean's were wrapped around his mate. They both looked exhausted, but the joy of the moment shone through the picture with aching clarity.

Castiel's eyes track the snapshots of Thomas' first birthday, first day of preschool, pictures from zoo outings and family get togethers and one of Cas' personal favorites: a picture of Dean lying in bed sleeping, with Thomas tucked up along his side drooling on his shirt as the morning sun danced through the windows.

There's also the one from their 3rd anniversary in Hawaii. Dean and Cas are sitting at a table in a restaurant, both wearing hideously bright Hawaiian shirts, Dean is looking at the camera, but Cas is staring at his mate like he hung the moon. 

He looks at it fondly now, remembering how hard it had been to convince Dean to get on the plane in the first place. How nervous they had been leaving Thomas behind for the first time. It had been their first vacation alone since becoming parents, and as much as Cas loves his pups, it had been a magical week having Dean all to himself. 

With a smirk, he remembers just how magical all that alone time had been; after all, they had conceived their second pup on that trip.

Their daughter Elizabeth had come into this world with a bang, showing up almost 3 weeks early and letting them know in no uncertain terms that she did things her own way. 

Cas chuckles as he looks at the many photos of his pups lining the wall. Thomas looked so much like Dean, his eyes bright and green and full of mischief. He had freckles dusted all over his skin, and his smile was all Dean's. His hair though came from Cas, dark and wild, and the picture of a carefree pup. It was hard to believe his little boy was almost 6 now.

When Elizabeth had come along after their little trip to paradise, their family had felt complete and whole. She was quiet but headstrong in a way that had Dean teasingly calling her his little Cas. Her hazel eyes held the secrets of an old soul, but she smiled like the sun on a new spring morning. She had both her papas wrapped around her fingers, and Castiel wasn't ashamed to admit it.

The giggling coming from the kitchen draws his attention away from the photos, and he absently rubbed his hands along the curve of his belly, wondering what this new pup might look like. They had thought Elizabeth would be their last pup, but a bad batch of suppressants and an intense breakthrough heat had given them one last little Winchester. 

The sight that greets Cas as he enters the kitchen has his face splitting into a big gummy smile. Dean is stirring a huge pot of what looks like spaghetti while simultaneously holding up Thomas's music book, while their oldest pup attempts to play “Hot Cross Buns” on a recorder. Elizabeth is at the table licking butter off of the garlic bread that's been set out for dinner. Her face is shiny with grease, but she looks like she's really enjoying herself.

Cas laughs at the chaotic scene before him, feeling his chest tighten with how much he loves these people, his family, in all their craziness. He walks forward and scoops his little girl up into his arms to place a wet smack against her garlicky cheek. She giggles and buries her greasy fingers in his hair to bring him forward for a nose kiss. Their noses brush against each other, and he breathes in her sweet pup scent. He can just make out some of the earthier tones that will become her own unique scent as she grows.

Smiling, he turns to see his Alpha giving him a sheepish smile as he sends Thomas off to put his instrument away.

"Hey babe, how was class? Sorry it's so crazy, we were over at Sam's and lost track of time, so things have been hectic since we got home."

Cas leans in for a kiss and melts into his mate the moment their lips meet.

"Hhmm, hello Dean," he pulls away only to lean back for another quick peck. He was feeling affectionate today and just wanted to curl up and cuddle.

"Class was good but long. The little bean didn't enjoy the sound of the speaker's voice and spent the hour dancing around to let me know."

Dean's eyes soften as he reaches out to palm Cas' belly. He's never said otherwise, but Cas has the feeling that if he had been a little younger, they would have had a much bigger brood of pups. Dean's never complained though and always made it very clear that he was happy as long as Cas was happy. 

They stay like that for a few moments. Elizabeth resting her head on Castiel's shoulder while he rests his forehead against Dean's, all the while his Alpha just runs his hands along his protruding middle. When Thomas comes racing back into the room to throw his arms around Cas, the spell is broken and with one more chaste kiss, Dean returns to the stove and their dinner.

Cas ruffles his son's hair playfully and drops a kiss into the wild mop of hair.

"How was school today, sweetheart? You sounded so good on your recorder."

Thomas beams up at him and launches into a very animated retelling of how one of the other kids at school got their head stuck in the playground equipment. They set the table as he listens to his pup's story as it grows more and more ridiculous, both of them laughing by the time he reaches the end.

Dean comes over with a huge serving bowl of pasta to set in the center of the table, while Cas gets Elizabeth settled into her booster seat. 

"Hey kiddo, can you be a good helper and get the salad out of the fridge?"

Thomas nods eagerly at Dean and rushes to the refrigerator. Despite his little hands he manages to carry the bowl of salad and the half full bottle of dressing to the table.

This is Castiel's favorite time of day. No matter what else is going on in their lives, they always come together as a family to eat at the table for dinner. Cas smiles down at his plate when he feels Dean's foot come to rest next to his under the table, his socked foot rubbing gently along the top of Cas' own. Thomas continues to chatter on about his day, ignoring his sister squawking around the food in her mouth as she tries to join in on the conversation. 

The whole thing is chaos but the right kind of chaos, full of love and laughter. Castiel watches his mate as he cuts up pasta for their daughter, looking at the crinkles in the corners of his eyes as he laughs at something Thomas says. So many new lines on his handsome face. 

Some are from worrying late at night over a sick pup, or stress from trying to get his latest order finished on time, or from that time Dean broke his hand while Cas was on bedrest and they had to ask Castiel's mother for a loan. 

But not every line came from stress. So many came from years of laughter, from the joy of seeing their pups come into the world and watching them grow, from spending long nights wrapped in each other’s arms until they were exhausted and sated.

Yes, Castiel looks at all those lines and feels incredibly grateful that he was there to witness each and every one.

There had been a time, it feels like so long ago now, when Castiel had felt this would never be his life. That this was out of his grasp and beyond his reach. But now, here with his mate and the family they made, the life they carved out of what can oftentimes seem like a bleak and lonely world, Castiel understands what it means to truly be happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Man this chapter would have been such a great cliffhanger! Wasted since the whole thing is posted at once 😂.


End file.
